Nothing But Everything
by ambie176
Summary: She finally drank her pain away a little at a time, but she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind. Sandle OneShot Grammar revised.


**Nothing But Everything **

**Rating: K+**

**Summery: She finally drank her pain away a little at a time, but she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind.**

**A/N: Another Angst filled OneShot. (What is it when me and these lately?) I hope it's not confusing; I kind of made the happenings just a bit blurry just to set the stage. (aka I didn't give a horrendous amount of detail.)**

**Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own CSI, and since this is obviously based on the song Whiskey Lullaby, I don't own it either! **

* * *

Tears prickled down her cheeks

Succumbing to the broken heart.

A treasured memory in the palm of her hands. But the silky vinyl treasure wasn't quite made of gold.

It was just worth more than that.

Never forget his sweet smile, the touch of his arms wrapped around her.

Never forget how her heart flipped when he looked deep into her eyes, past the iris and into the soul.

Never forget the feeling of his pure blood staining her fingertips as he laid; his soul inching away out of her grasp of desperation.

Never forget the guilt that she never gave him her heart.

Never forget that no man's voice ever soothed her quite as much as his did her heart.

Never to forget his sweet, tingling breath against her skin was much better than any other pleasure could be.

Never to forget his unforgettable laugh.

Never forget how it met his eyes.

Never forget how his natural scent took her on a roller coaster of a high that never brought her crashing down.

Never forget how he had been her greatest, not so lethal addiction.

Never forget that she gave up true love and perfection, for safety.

Never forget she paid the price.

The salty tears dripped slowly, hitting the silky page of the minuscule picture gripped in her sweaty, red palms. Her eyes were wide, wet and blood shot. Her breath smelt of whiskey, and her clothes wrinkled, her hair wild and uncombed.

Each tear left a scar, that invisible scar on her cheek. You might not see it, but she felt each and every scar. She would remembered the tears she cried for him, how many times her heart could break into without completely shattering, how many steps of life she had taken since he left and how all of them were meaningless.

"Honey?"

Sara Sidle's head didn't raise. She didn't try to move, only to stroke the picture in her hand for a little bit longer. She didn't move, or even blink. He didn't matter at the door, and it never really mattered what he had to say. Only thing that mattered was her little piece of gold in her palms.

"What's that?" he asked as he sat down beside her.

Sara didn't look up; she didn't even try to act as if she cared about his presence.

She didn't compose herself, she didn't stop the tears. She only brought the image, the frozen memory to her lips and closed her eyes.

Another tear laid it scar down the slippery surface of his smiling face.

"Nothing," she whispered.

* * *

Gil Grissom met Sara Sidle's eyes for the first time in a long time. Craning over her shoulder he looked down at the boys frozen image. A sweet embrace captured between the two close friends, a time that seemed so long ago it was a stretch for his mind.

But Gil did remembered how cold and rigid his body had became as fear, panic and pain seized him. He remembered the rush of lights and blazing sirens and the terrible news that had brought Sara Sidle to her knees.

He had made a mistake, every man does. But his cost him not only a life, but a heart and soul. She was lifeless without him, and out of fear and desperation to keep her, he had lost her. He had sent him there, in hope that he could have a few moments with her alone instead at a crime scene. Trying to keep her heart, he lost it. For a long time he wondered what he had done wrong in life to deserve it. Then he realized it was quite simple.

He didn't let her go.

* * *

"_The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself_

_For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath  
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time  
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind  
Until the night_

_She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away his memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees  
We found her with her face down in the pillow  
Clinging to his picture for dear life  
We laid her next to him beneath the willow  
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby"_

* * *

He listened to her soft whispers, tears dripping down on her arms. He shook with his guilt. Sara Sidle was an empty shell, her heart and soul died with him. Gil Grissom's heart died too. They died.

They died when Greg Sanders' heart stopped beating.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing," she replied softly, "Nothing but everything."


End file.
